Fall ruminations

As promised, this is the archived post I’d published elsewhere, earlier this year. It’s lengthy, aye, I remember going over everything twenty times before I was satisfied.

Read time: 5 mins, 27 seconds


(in Buddhism) a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death and rebirth. It represents the final goal of Buddhism.

When I was younger I had this habit to attribute things to people, stuff like if like person X’s familiar would likely be a praying mantis because of her aura of perpetual meditation, or perhaps deliberation, and was not one to be messed with. Or this lawyer that had an uncanny resemblance and manner to a bulldog.

I grew up watching Avatar the Last Airbender, and of the four elements, earth has always been my favourite. I never told anyone this but I had this vision of myself as this oak sapling, that one day I’ll be this towering, formidable sentinel knees-deep into the earth, toes dipping in the water table beneath and branches catching amiably in the wind. They’ll be homes to all sorts of birds. I’ll be this secret place of contemplation for that harried student who’d rest against my gnarled trunk.

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Daily Journal: It’s the rocks again

Thursday – 12/09/2019

At this point, I think my procrastination is actually avoidance based on anxiety. Work makes me nervous, though it won’t manifest in obvious ways as I’m not nervous by nature.

Frankly, it’s not so much the deadline as much it’s the work itself. What makes me conflicted, in ways I am not going to state, is how simple the stuff is? However, whatever I’m supposed to be doing, it will always be compounded by what used to be almost crippling depression for a short burst of time but has now spread out to become a chronic elusive hell breathing just out of earshot.

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Photo by Sachin Barodia from Pexels

Message from a bunny rabbit

A throwback from October of last year. I thought it would be nice to pull it up again, esp some of my new readers might appreciate it.

Badger Underground

It’s not always easy to look on the bright side of things though some days it comes naturally. This is one of my favourite posts on Tumblr that never fails to put a smile on my face, so I thought it would only be right to share it with you folks. I mean, look at that deadpan delivery, haha!

Happiness is a queer emotion when I think about it. When you’re sad the side effects are well known; sleeping too much/little, tiredness, finding no pleasure in usual hobbies, etc. Sometimes the sadness is inexplicable, sometimes it’s from a fallout, loss or memory.

Happiness … where does it come from? Much lovlier places I fancy. A friend’s smile, a baby’s laugh, a fantastic movie, a blue bird’s fluttering progress across the sky. It comes from a sense of accomplishment; from indulging in activities that you do for no other purpose…

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